North Korea debuts its own new tablet, no internet on board
The Samjiyon comes pre-loaded with everything you need to know about being an obedient servant to the dear leader, Kim John Jong Un and understanding his greatness. It also explains why the people must starve so that the pudgy little guy does not miss a meal. Thankfully, the dear leader also wants to make sure you are entertained as a small consolation for your unwavering obedience.
Yes, the Samjiyon has games too! There is a basketball game (Dennis Rodman would be pleased), there is a game involving shooting tanks and what would a tablet be without a rip-off of Angry Birds to pass the time with?
We do not have any specs on the tablet, but from the press image we found, it looks like a 10-inch slate with unknown components underneath, possibly left-overs from South Korea. What do specs matter when you have your dear leader and his propaganda to guide you?
19. RaKithAPeiRiZ (Posts: 1486; Member since: 29 Dec 2011)
Watch out Samsung , you got a competitor - Samjiyon
28. bluescreen (Posts: 154; Member since: 22 Nov 2012)
im pretty sure this tablet is loaded with goverment propaganda videos.....
2. Nikolas.Oliver (banned) (Posts: 1574; Member since: 01 Jul 2012)
A small sh*tty pu**y County like this wants to nuke The United States? Ha, B*tch please
4. xperiaDROID (banned) (Posts: 5629; Member since: 08 Mar 2013)
How is that relevant to this article?
6. RaKithAPeiRiZ (Posts: 1486; Member since: 29 Dec 2011)
they can still take out a army base or a carrier fleet
13. RaKithAPeiRiZ (Posts: 1486; Member since: 29 Dec 2011)
never underestimate the enemy , The N/K army although it lacks technology is still capable in engaging the South Korean forces even without a tactical nuclear strike , if N/K plans to attack the south , they will probably use it as a high altitude EMP to blind the enemy , the marines and the South forces will probably loose valuable GPS and electronic weaponry needed to attack the hordes of medium tanks and infantry
24. Gawain (Posts: 405; Member since: 15 Apr 2010)
No reliable delivery system for EMP, Russian-sourced/Chinese-copied technology is time-and-again proven to be inferior. Kim's million man army will be fodder. At worst, DPRK lobs some artillery into Seoul, after that, they don't get past the DMZ. US and ROK army units are far more lethal. Seriously, DPRK might have enough for a day or two before they are simply crushed from exhaustion/fuel/starvation and equipment failures. The problem then is the DPRK people, they are that "in love" with their "dear leader" that I suspect there would be mass suicides in Pyonyang.
33. Nikolas.Oliver (banned) (Posts: 1574; Member since: 01 Jul 2012)
The N/K & S/K Border (DMZ) is heavily guarded by south korea and united states joint force, there's no way n.k can enter the south, the us can drop a nuke whenever they want, unfortunately china will be mad if the us does that
34. RaKithAPeiRiZ (Posts: 1486; Member since: 29 Dec 2011)
agree with that , but the biggest problem with the N/K forces will be the lack of strategy , their weapons are alright if used properly,but sadly their chain of command is controlled by their "dear leader" who is only qualified to taste food . but if the N/K forces goes all out , they will probably start with a salvo of artillery , missiles and rockets which might push the ROK forces back , but once the B2's take off , its going to be WW3
35. Nikolas.Oliver (banned) (Posts: 1574; Member since: 01 Jul 2012)
Even with good strategy they don't stand a chance of hitting Hawaii or alaska, let alone mainland. The us can just send a b2 (or two) and it's all over, the problem is china and Russia which are northKorea's ally
36. Nikolas.Oliver (banned) (Posts: 1574; Member since: 01 Jul 2012)
Additionally, their weapons are outdated, probably soviet era type
37. RaKithAPeiRiZ (Posts: 1486; Member since: 29 Dec 2011)
North Korea's arsenal consists of mainly 70's era equipment , and most of them are indegenous designs copied from outdated soviet bloc designs so they are not as powerful as anything used by modern -upto date armies , the N/K boasts too much but they will never operate beyond their own territory , China is N/K's best ally but China has more economic ties with the south so like a few months ago , they might oppose N/K's decisions as well , Russia will simply not care about N/K because their ideologies are not similar , i think they might save the nuke for a EMP if possible or as a tactical weapon if they get invaded
40. Nikolas.Oliver (banned) (Posts: 1574; Member since: 01 Jul 2012)
Their technologies are simply not capable of creating an EMP device, nor do they have money for it, nk's main weapon supply is merely from Chinese leftovers. They'll probably survive for a week or so.
27. sid07desai (Posts: 290; Member since: 03 May 2012)
Just watched Olympus Has Fallen from piratebay. Was not disappointed.
8. RaKithAPeiRiZ (Posts: 1486; Member since: 29 Dec 2011)
they can access their own local intranet service , sadly internet is reserved only to foreigners and highest officials
7. Napalm_3nema (Posts: 1694; Member since: 14 Jun 2013)
It's down because of a holiday, "Great Leader Day." Thankfully, that only happens 365 times a year (366 for Leap Years).
11. TheLolGuy (Posts: 483; Member since: 05 Mar 2013)
I don't think much of anyone likes Kim Jong Un here, and I agree with your sentiment towards the situation in North Korea... but this was pretty unprofessional of you.
12. Eonnaydra (Posts: 217; Member since: 23 Oct 2012)
I think Apple will sue them.
Apple will create iArmy and will crush this communist country.
14. roldefol (Posts: 3319; Member since: 28 Jan 2011)
"the dear leader, Kim John Un"
You have insulted Our Dear Leader with this unfortunate American misspelling. Please do not move from your current position. You are to be escorted to your work camp shortly, Mr. R.
16. procopiojose (Posts: 132; Member since: 26 Oct 2012)
Kim jong Snapbooty 9,001 Ghz
Kim jong PowderVR SGX69
1byte of RAM
KimWiz Terror UX
17. RaKithAPeiRiZ (Posts: 1486; Member since: 29 Dec 2011)
some of the pre installed apps - Angry Birds - Attack on Seoul , KimBook ,Kim+ ,Ryugyong Hotel reservation app , Kimstagram
Some pre installed music - Great patriotic anthem in 160 languages EP
18. xperiaDROID (banned) (Posts: 5629; Member since: 08 Mar 2013)
The tablet has Kimdroid Missle Bean 4.3, with Koogle Play Store. And with some pre installed apps like Angry Kims, Kimboard, Kimstagram, Kwitter and Kimbook.
30. taikucing (unregistered)
20. Sondae (Posts: 228; Member since: 02 Jan 2013)
Well thats very common there in north korean to have no internet, which is closed country. They dont want there people to rebel againts the goverment that they have brainwashed for a long time hating American and other neighbor country. If some group or people rebel probably the whole clan will go to camp 14 where they will experience hell.
21. JulianGT (Posts: 86; Member since: 15 Oct 2012)
Thy should respect the country, not make fun of it.
22. Dorothy69 (banned) (Posts: 498; Member since: 21 May 2013)
"no internet on board" .... how is this different than my iPad???
25. Arpad (Posts: 39; Member since: 05 Jan 2012)
Yes maybe the kids of elite cadres will have some use of it, but even they have power shortages and only receive a couple of hours of power a day. So depending on this tablets battery I can only see a weary limited usage of this tablet.
And for the rest of DPRK this will only be a fantasy.
26. Atlas (Posts: 158; Member since: 15 Apr 2012)
I like this article, well done for making feel like I was really in North Korea:D
31. InspectorGadget80 (Posts: 7043; Member since: 26 Mar 2011)
ok a tablet but with no INTERNET?? Damn feel sorry for the pople in NORTH KOREA with their young dumb leader in charge with no experience
32. Dastrix (unregistered)
Why does it say '(deserves)' in brackets? That's a little... condescending. Anyone with a sense of respect towards others would understand what I mean, and I hope that the author does as well. Please correct it for the sake of equality, and respect the country.
41. dexter_jdr (Posts: 1163; Member since: 28 Jun 2012)
dont worry. they have no internet to view this article.
39. B3BLW29 (Posts: 238; Member since: 02 Mar 2012)
ohhh Megan megan megan.....ok u have harpies now