Vertu re-launches tacky, expensive, helicopter-delivered Cobra Limited Edition phone

Warning – here be snakes! Opulent, red, ruby snakes. If it weren't for the impeccable craftsmanship that went into creating the cobra mosaic out of 439 rubies and 2 emeralds (for the eyes), the re-launched Vertu Signature Cobra Limited Edition would have looked about as tasteful as any other phone by the notorious luxury brand. Not very tasteful.

Vertu phones are "look at how rich I am" phones, not pieces of near-perfection like the Galaxies and iPhones we enjoy today. Still, ruby snakes on a phone is badass any time of the year and we'd gladly have one of these just for kicks, if it weren't for the fact that there are only 8 units made, and each costs about $360k. This is a reissue of a 2006 model, which makes us think there are 8 people in the world who e-mailed Vertu, demanding cobra phones. And the brand jumped on the opportunity – that's $2.88 million for all units sold!

The phone also gets delivered via helicopter, which sounds concerning. We hope the airborne couriers don't just fly by your condo and casually toss the package down from several kilometers high. If that's the case, we hope there's a tiny parachute attached to it, like those ammo and power-up boxes from the Worms games.

Alas, specs for the re-launched Vertu aren't reported in English, and our Chinese is a bit rusty. Rest assured, though, the phone won't let you play Guns of Boom, or even Pokemon GO for that matter. Look at it, it's about as close to running Android as the average earth rock!


source: GizChina



16. HanoiBoi

Posts: 43; Member since: May 05, 2016

"Luis" - Ace ESLer "journalist" plying his trade as best his little brain can squeeze out "werds." Azz-whole.

15. drifter77

Posts: 402; Member since: Jun 12, 2015

Seriously who buys this sh!t?

12. trojan_horse

Posts: 5868; Member since: May 06, 2016

I see no point in this crap..It only makes sense for celebrities, nothing else.

11. NewroticSlob

Posts: 182; Member since: May 09, 2013

Or you can donate to my go fund me account til your fingers hurt! ;) Need to have my fugly Android emojis to go with this phone. :)

6. Mr.Pussy

Posts: 348; Member since: Feb 16, 2017

G damn! People buy this thing? Buy a house people lol

10. TechieXP1969

Posts: 14967; Member since: Sep 25, 2013

Suppose they have a house.

5. lyndon420

Posts: 6937; Member since: Jul 11, 2012

Doubt you'd be living in a condo if you could afford one of these. Obviously the OEM is assuming you're relaxing on your yacht lol.

4. medtxa

Posts: 1655; Member since: Jun 02, 2014

is the glue strong? you don't want to loose some rubies right.

3. bradley8795

Posts: 64; Member since: Nov 19, 2013

Put that thing in your pocket one time and you'll pull out a hand full of rubies. What a horrific design. But if course this is made for display. Not for use.

2. MrElectrifyer

Posts: 3960; Member since: Oct 21, 2014

Perfect catalyst for getting separated from your cash like a fool... "Look at it, it's about as close to running Android as the average earth rock!" Lol, savage ending.

1. blake8

Posts: 25; Member since: Jul 18, 2014

who buy this crap

7. hemedans

Posts: 763; Member since: Jun 01, 2013

latest data shows 450,000 device were sold per year for average price of $6000

13. RebelwithoutaClue unregistered

There are some Vertu devices that are pretty on the eyes, but this one... damn.. this thing is fugly.

14. medtxa

Posts: 1655; Member since: Jun 02, 2014

Not even fugly this thing is retarded, what the hell with the snake and monocrome screen.

9. TechieXP1969

Posts: 14967; Member since: Sep 25, 2013

The same people who buy iPhones, buf cant afford this one.

Latest Stories

This copy is for your personal, non-commercial use only. You can order presentation-ready copies for distribution to your colleagues, clients or customers at or use the Reprints & Permissions tool that appears at the bottom of each web page. Visit for samples and additional information.
FCC OKs Cingular's purchase of AT&T Wireless