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Vertu re-launches tacky, expensive, helicopter-delivered Cobra Limited Edition phone

Posted: , by Luis D.


Warning – here be snakes! Opulent, red, ruby snakes. If it weren't for the impeccable craftsmanship that went into creating the cobra mosaic out of 439 rubies and 2 emeralds (for the eyes), the re-launched Vertu Signature Cobra Limited Edition would have looked about as tasteful as any other phone by the notorious luxury brand. Not very tasteful.

Vertu phones are "look at how rich I am" phones, not pieces of near-perfection like the Galaxies and iPhones we enjoy today. Still, ruby snakes on a phone is badass any time of the year and we'd gladly have one of these just for kicks, if it weren't for the fact that there are only 8 units made, and each costs about $360k. This is a reissue of a 2006 model, which makes us think there are 8 people in the world who e-mailed Vertu, demanding cobra phones. And the brand jumped on the opportunity – that's $2.88 million for all units sold!

The phone also gets delivered via helicopter, which sounds concerning. We hope the airborne couriers don't just fly by your condo and casually toss the package down from several kilometers high. If that's the case, we hope there's a tiny parachute attached to it, like those ammo and power-up boxes from the Worms games.

Alas, specs for the re-launched Vertu aren't reported in English, and our Chinese is a bit rusty. Rest assured, though, the phone won't let you play Guns of Boom, or even Pokemon GO for that matter. Look at it, it's about as close to running Android as the average earth rock!

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source: GizChina

16 Comments
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posted on 22 May 2017, 20:19 1

1. blake8 (Posts: 25; Member since: 18 Jul 2014)


who buy this crap

posted on 22 May 2017, 23:32 2

7. hemedans (Posts: 656; Member since: 01 Jun 2013)


latest data shows 450,000 device were sold per year for average price of $6000

posted on 23 May 2017, 03:13

13. RebelwithoutaClue (Posts: 3693; Member since: 05 Apr 2013)


There are some Vertu devices that are pretty on the eyes, but this one... damn.. this thing is fugly.

posted on 23 May 2017, 04:11

14. medtxa (Posts: 1375; Member since: 02 Jun 2014)


Not even fugly this thing is retarded, what the hell with the snake and monocrome screen.

posted on 22 May 2017, 23:45 3

9. TechieXP1969 (banned) (Posts: 14967; Member since: 25 Sep 2013)


The same people who buy iPhones, buf cant afford this one.

posted on 22 May 2017, 21:47

2. MrElectrifyer (banned) (Posts: 3960; Member since: 21 Oct 2014)


Perfect catalyst for getting separated from your cash like a fool...

"Look at it, it's about as close to running Android as the average earth rock!"

Lol, savage ending.

posted on 22 May 2017, 22:09

3. bradley8795 (Posts: 64; Member since: 19 Nov 2013)


Put that thing in your pocket one time and you'll pull out a hand full of rubies. What a horrific design. But if course this is made for display. Not for use.

posted on 22 May 2017, 22:48

4. medtxa (Posts: 1375; Member since: 02 Jun 2014)


is the glue strong? you don't want to loose some rubies right.

posted on 22 May 2017, 23:20

5. lyndon420 (Posts: 5037; Member since: 11 Jul 2012)


Doubt you'd be living in a condo if you could afford one of these. Obviously the OEM is assuming you're relaxing on your yacht lol.

posted on 22 May 2017, 23:38 2

8. Leo_MC (Posts: 3023; Member since: 02 Dec 2011)


The most expensive real estates are condos; well, penthouses but still.

posted on 22 May 2017, 23:32

6. Mr.Pussy (Posts: 167; Member since: 16 Feb 2017)


G damn! People buy this thing? Buy a house people lol

posted on 22 May 2017, 23:47

10. TechieXP1969 (banned) (Posts: 14967; Member since: 25 Sep 2013)


Suppose they have a house.

posted on 22 May 2017, 23:54

11. NewroticSlob (Posts: 140; Member since: 09 May 2013)


Or you can donate to my go fund me account til your fingers hurt! ;) Need to have my fugly Android emojis to go with this phone. :)

posted on 23 May 2017, 02:07

12. trojan_horse (Posts: 5341; Member since: 06 May 2016)


I see no point in this crap..It only makes sense for celebrities, nothing else.

posted on 23 May 2017, 08:27 2

15. drifter77 (Posts: 291; Member since: 12 Jun 2015)


Seriously who buys this sh!t?

posted on 24 May 2017, 15:30

16. HanoiBoi (Posts: 42; Member since: 05 May 2016)


"Luis" - Ace ESLer "journalist" plying his trade as best his little brain can squeeze out "werds."

Azz-whole.

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