Sex maschine - Lovely is a wearable for sex performance metrics, and you'd never guess where it's worn!

Sex maschine - Lovely is a wearable for sex performance metrics, and you'd never guess where it's worn!
What's made of medical-grade silicon, wraps around your ba-donk-a-donk ding-dong and talks to your smartphone? Why, it's nothing short of Lovely, the latest wearable gadget that's trying to rouse some crowdfunding attention at IndieGogo.

The potent wearable is said to pack all the needed sensors to analyse the male wearers' bedtime athleticism, along with a vibration motor to give their partners the best of both organic and synthetic examples of sexual gratification tools.

The data parsed by the connected smartphone app will help Lovely's users attain peak performance. It measures g-force (eh?), top speed, burned calories, move count, and comes up with personalized tips about problem areas where you can improve. Think of it as AnTuTu for your man cannon... nice, huh?

These essentials aside, the app comes with a thesaurus of sexual positions that lists at least 120 different ways of doing the deed. They don't teach that kind of stuff in sex-ed classes, do they?

Anyway, Lovely seems to be the closest thing to a wearable that literally turns coitus into a type of sports, complete with monitoring and metrics. Bragging to your friends in the pub is one thing, but showing them the cold, hard data on your phone as proof is another thing altogether!

If everything goes to plan, Lovely will ship in June 2016 at $99 for the base model. Stay tuned for the PhoneArena review!


source: IndieGogo via Wareable

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73 Comments

1. gaming64 unregistered

Seriously, anyone gonna buy this?

54. waddup121 unregistered

lmao true

58. QWERTYslider unregistered

This will make a nice addition to my Tantra Chair. Worst case, it's something new and fun for me and my girlfriend to laugh about. Any money thrown at your sex life and fun is money well spent. But, the price needs to come down to $50. Vibrators like this can be bought for $10. Ask my girlfriend. LOL PS. You don't need any vibrator if you use your tongue before the main event for more than talking with your GF, boys. LOL

66. tedkord

Posts: 17463; Member since: Jun 17, 2009

Nobody is buying this.

72. JMartin22

Posts: 2387; Member since: Apr 30, 2013

More like no one here is going to admit to buying this.

2. aman5mathur

Posts: 242; Member since: Mar 28, 2014

only if its called a toy LOL

3. MahmoudHamsharii

Posts: 70; Member since: Aug 28, 2013

Not a content btw.

6. AlikMalix unregistered

"Think of it as AnTuTu for your man cannon... " Where's that AnTuTu troll, I got an article for you... LOL

14. LiquidGalaxy

Posts: 332; Member since: Jul 03, 2013

Lol - under a bridge somewhere with his Samsung device. I imagine he has a hole in that which he uses to get off on...

22. AlikMalix unregistered

Second part of your joke, a little too far... there are ladies here too... act like a gentleman... lol

57. darkkjedii

Posts: 31597; Member since: Feb 05, 2011

Well said

60. QWERTYslider unregistered

Relax. Ladies like, and can handle, sex talk.

7. 3rdDegree

Posts: 218; Member since: Jul 13, 2013

Phonearena review?? Uh oh

11. AlikMalix unregistered

I can already see the article: "My first week with "Lovely" sex machine: our impressions, battery life, and features we cannot live without..."

53. Ashoaib

Posts: 3309; Member since: Nov 15, 2013

hahaha, what an entertaining article

8. souvikroy1111

Posts: 16; Member since: Apr 27, 2014

No one is interested to see ur **** phonearena;)

24. luis.d

Posts: 354; Member since: Dec 04, 2013

but :(

30. SamDH1

Posts: 419; Member since: Apr 21, 2015

No means no!! :p

41. NopeNein

Posts: 147; Member since: Feb 04, 2015

but daaaaaaaaaaaaaad

64. bwhiting

Posts: 188; Member since: Jun 15, 2013

While yes means no and then maybe means no and then a shrug means how do you do?!

32. gaming64 unregistered

Dude, xxx or not, it's still tech. This is a tech site. If you ain't mature enough to see news like this and react like some preteen girl then you better close your account and get your news somewhere else. I'm not mad or butthurt but I'm stating my perception of truth

10. LiquidGalaxy

Posts: 332; Member since: Jul 03, 2013

Lol - considering 90% of this site is infested by fanboys of one type or another (it's PA so mostly Samsung), i don't think this article is relevant. They probably don't even know what sex is...

12. AlikMalix unregistered

They do, don't you know you can pirate that stuff for free on Android....

36. pradhanmn

Posts: 71; Member since: Feb 06, 2015

Well said ,lol

15. hound.master

Posts: 1044; Member since: Feb 27, 2015

I don't understand this at all you put it around your dick? What kind of gadget Is that? I'm really confused don't make these s**ts or be clear about it i don't get it is it a sex toy? Well according to main source it's a sex toy.

16. Ordinary

Posts: 2454; Member since: Apr 23, 2015

Instructions were unclear, got my ba-donk-a-donk stuck

19. hound.master

Posts: 1044; Member since: Feb 27, 2015

Yeah i don't get the ba-donk-a-donk part what's wrong with the dick or man stuff i don't know what the writer call his dick!!!

20. Ordinary

Posts: 2454; Member since: Apr 23, 2015

Yea they are censoring that but they arent banning patriot tards lol

61. QWERTYslider unregistered

I think he meant JUNK.

17. vuyonc

Posts: 1091; Member since: Feb 24, 2014

Why didn't they call it "ManTuTu"?

* Some comments have been hidden, because they don't meet the discussions rules.

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