We asked 5 wild animals what they thought about the new Samsung Galaxy S8

We asked 5 wild animals what they thought about the new Samsung Galaxy S8
The Galaxy S8 is poised to become a smashing success! It's so hot right now, even wild animals crave it, as Samsung proudly demonstrated in its almost-viral ostrich video.

Therefore, we decided to hit some habitats and ask 5 of nature's apex predators what their thoughts are on the new Galaxy S8. We're glad to disclose no animals or humans were harmed for the purposes of our journalistic inquiry.

Mike P. – Tiger Shark, Carribean Sea

"Obviously, I love the waterproofing, it's pretty important for where I live and hunt my prey. Bixby seems cool, too. I could ask him to alert me for nearby food. But that facial recognition thing looks super lousy, man! People are gonna get pictures of sharks off Google and bust into my phone all the time! The iris scanner is sorta useless to me because my eyes are sideways, but John, my Great White buddy, thinks it's the bomb! So yeah, I dig the Galaxy S8, but I'll probably end up getting a cheapie iOcean handset from China."

Bentley – Cheetah, sub-Saharan Africa

"I always get the fastest phone available, because it has to be able to keep up with me. My schedule is quite hectic, running at 70 mph, surviving under extreme conditions, and taking care of 8 small children. So I'm thinking the Galaxy S8 will be a right fit. That Snapdragon 835 sure owned AnTuTu, yeah? I'm kinda worried about the no Home button thing, though. What if the capacitive key doesn't register my paws? I also think my species isn't well-represented in the Samsung emoji library, which seriously bothers me!"

Craig – retired T-Rex, Manhattan, New York City

"I'm very impressed by the Galaxy S8, we certainly didn't have phones this sleek and advanced back in the Cretaceous period. Kids today are spoiled! Anyway, I see this phone has an awfully tall display, which is a bit of a deal-breaker for me. I have extremely short arms and I already struggle to reach the notifications menu on my Alcatel. It's also darn expensive! My job at the museum doesn't pay enough for me to afford it, and these 66 million years-old bones hurt, I spend a lot on medicine. I hate the way this country treats the elderly!"

Boris – Alpha Male, Southeastern Europe

"I love Samsung phone, Samsung phone best! My TV Samsung, my fridge Samsung... everything! When I take out Samsung Galaxy in club, girls think I king! I want to get Galaxy S8 but my friend Dimitri say "don't". He tell me display has strange ratio and videos look wrong. I torrent many movie to watch every day and I don't want problem. Maybe I wait for new iPhone!"

Kathy – ravenous Food Blogger, Greater London, England

"I think it looks brill, mate! That screen has me chuffed to bits. I get to see more of Instagram, but I'd be gutted if the camera isn't jolly good, I don't want my photos knackered! I hear the S8 has the same camera as the S7, pretty much. I expected a bit more of an upgrade for that many quid, to be honest! Did you hear about this new vegan restaurant in Brixton, by the way? Gotta go check it out, I'm soooo stoked! And did you know about my food blog? Deffo look it up, it's called Kathy Bites..."


Related phones

Galaxy S8
  • Display 5.8" 1440 x 2960 pixels
  • Camera 12 MP / 8 MP front
  • Processor Qualcomm Snapdragon 835, Octa-core, 2350 MHz
  • Storage 64 GB + microSDXC
  • Battery 3000 mAh(30h talk time)
Galaxy S8+
  • Display 6.2" 1440 x 2960 pixels
  • Camera 12 MP / 8 MP front
  • Processor Qualcomm Snapdragon 835, Octa-core, 2450 MHz
  • Storage 64 GB + microSDXC
  • Battery 3500 mAh(24h 3G talk time)



1. Madmax

Posts: 110; Member since: Aug 19, 2016

Ha ha ha.. You really don't have anything else to do, do you?

6. Spyro

Posts: 334; Member since: Mar 29, 2017

Look at the date...

20. joevsyou

Posts: 1091; Member since: Feb 28, 2015

oh have a sense of humor!

72. AlikMalix unregistered

This was funny PA, thanks for the lulz... more stuff like this wouldn't hurt...

74. trojan_horse

Posts: 5868; Member since: May 06, 2016

Nah, not funny to me, it's just one of April Fools' boring jokes.

81. coromd

Posts: 2; Member since: Apr 03, 2017

Don't worry, you're plenty more boring :)

2. MattPerkins1

Posts: 94; Member since: Mar 25, 2017

The article's title is true in a way. Only animals with low intelligence pay premium price for Samsung Android. No sensible person will buy a device with poor performance and late updates that lasts only for 2 years.

5. Omran2000

Posts: 101; Member since: Aug 18, 2016

Why are you butt-hurt ?

21. TreyTreyTaylor

Posts: 728; Member since: Dec 21, 2010

Seriously. He's mad as hell.

23. Spyro

Posts: 334; Member since: Mar 29, 2017

No, just Mad iSheep Disease.

8. Spyro

Posts: 334; Member since: Mar 29, 2017

My uncle once had a refurbished S2 and it lasted for 4. 4 years. I guess it's true, gingers have no soul...

11. MattPerkins1

Posts: 94; Member since: Mar 25, 2017

And for how long did that phone got updates? Less than 2 years. Your uncle is lucky he didn't get any malware.

16. Macready

Posts: 1824; Member since: Dec 08, 2014

6 years later no malware on the old S2 here, such luck! The S4 received its last update 3.5 years after release BTW, the S5 Plus is still getting monthly updates as is the Note 4.

18. MattPerkins1

Posts: 94; Member since: Mar 25, 2017

How about those millions of Android users who got infected with malware? Compare that with iOS users which is less than a dozen. I know you will bring iCloud hack into it but guess what? The hacker accessed iCloud with gmail, a google service. Google not only puts its platform in danger with its insecure services but also the rival platform.

19. Spyro

Posts: 334; Member since: Mar 29, 2017

Every OS is susceptible to malware. Put it this way. Android is used over 80% of the smartphones in the smartphone industry with the rest being iOS and other OS's. Most Android phones aren't even flagships. Most people don't even have a flagship Android smartphone. So basically, just comparing the two OS's side by side based on security is laughable considering how many handsets are running Android out there. Tell me one good reason why iOS is the superior OS aside from the security B.S. you've been blabbering about.

27. MattPerkins1

Posts: 94; Member since: Mar 25, 2017

Security isn't BS. Its an essence for a smart device. You want to know more reasons why iOS is better? Its more optimized, it has better app quality, more privacy than spyware Android and it is more future proof because of long term updates.

31. brasstax

Posts: 543; Member since: Apr 16, 2014

So why don't you clutch your beloved IOS toting iphone and be gone. This article is about Samsung phones running Android both of which you despise. Then why take the time to read the article and post multiple comments? Some sort of dislike!!! Seems more butt hurt troll to me.

26. Rampage_Taco

Posts: 1079; Member since: Jan 17, 2017

How about the thousands of iPhone users that are dumb enough to flood the 911 service lines in America? And anyone is susceptible to Malware when they are too naïve to understand a trustworthy App or Link

29. MattPerkins1

Posts: 94; Member since: Mar 25, 2017

They fixed that bug already. Android never gets its bugs fixed after 2 years. And non flagship devices don't even get updates at all.

32. Rampage_Taco

Posts: 1079; Member since: Jan 17, 2017

You can not compare an iOS iPhone to a non flagship device. When iPhones start at $400 you must compare from that price and up. Which all androids from there up get 2 years of OS updates and usually 3-4 years of Security patches. Which makes sense. When you force a full OS update on a 3-4 year old device it basically kills the thing because it's hardware isn't optimized for newer software. Please inform me of how many Android bugs potentially put lives in danger?

45. Macready

Posts: 1824; Member since: Dec 08, 2014

3.5 years for Samsung devices now and the J or A models are anything but to models.

33. mikehunta727 unregistered

Thing is that exploit/javascript link was removed by the teen who created it months ago so it only happened to a few people and wasnt replicated again in the wild. 10.3 patched this issue And there are literally hundreds of millions of tech illiterate people who don't and cant discern between a fake or bad link to apps/etc, it's the OS'S job to protect people even if they are clueless. Play Store has had a lot of malware hidden in it also over the years in the apps, from a "trusted place" so... Nowadays Play Store is tons better then say a year ago and beyond and is pretty tight now 97% of mobile malware targets Android also. There is honestly no comparison here, Android globally, has a TON of work to do security wise, they are much much less safe, especially the Asian Pacific region, that is currently such a hotbed for Android malware/exploits to be used and abused and run wild The current global state of Android security is literally 4 years + behind iOS ATM Like I said there objectively is no comparison here at all.

57. TechieXP1969

Posts: 14967; Member since: Sep 25, 2013

Dude whatever. Millions of people use Windows and Android with no issue. You will never get such if you download app or other files from trusted known sources. You are just talking out the side of your neck.

70. mikehunta727 unregistered

No, I'm not, and literally 10's of millions of people are being exploited every day that have issues and they don't even realize it on both Windows and Android, daily, on outdated not updated devices that even come preinstalled with spyware/malware. You are absolutely clueless and can't even talk on this topic, or many tech related topics for that matter. Your credibility is beyond shot, sit down sunny...

37. remixfa

Posts: 14605; Member since: Dec 19, 2008

As opposed to a soon to be mostly samsung made phone that runs iOS that has planned obsolescence so all that blazing power will run like a broken Yugo in 2 years?

71. AlikMalix unregistered

Tell that to my 5s - faster than most latest android phones...

73. omnitech

Posts: 1131; Member since: Sep 28, 2016

Rofl sure it is lol oh god these isheep are getting worse by the day.

75. trojan_horse

Posts: 5868; Member since: May 06, 2016

No neee for name-calling just because you disagree with. You can politely say you disagree without resorting to unpleasant words.

78. TechieXP1969

Posts: 14967; Member since: Sep 25, 2013

Yeah they could. But then it would be a boring read.

76. Podrick

Posts: 1285; Member since: Aug 19, 2015

*faster than most latest low and lower midrange Android phones.

* Some comments have been hidden, because they don't meet the discussions rules.

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