Buying an iPhone is better than a healthcare plan and we were blind to the truth all along (sarcasm)

Buying an iPhone is better than a healthcare plan and we were blind to the truth all along (sarcasm)
On Tuesday, Republican Rep. Jason Chaffetz made an interesting point. Rather than getting that hot, expensive new iPhone, as a sensible American, you better invest in the GOP's forthcoming healthcare plan of comparable price. Because you are free individual and you have a choice. But having both the new iPhone and adequate healthcare costs much money in the current system, so if you don't have that, you darn better make the responsible choice.

What if you really wanted that iPhone, though? Too bad! Suck it up, or hustle! Conan O'Brian's team of comedians uses every opportunity to land a critical jab at politics – and especially at Apple – so their quick reaction comes as no surprise. What if getting that new iPhone is actually the sensible thing to do – and a better investment than healthcare, at that? Apparently, we have been blind to its untapped medical potential all along! Let the video demonstrate why Apple has "the only healthcare you'll need."

The iPhone handles medical exams, acts as an advanced thermometer, does emergency blood transfusions, delivers superb diagnostics, and... you probably didn't want to know that, but rectal examinations are on the menu, too! Funsies aside, the most popular smartphone in the US is more than capable of assisting your treatment, thanks to the Apple Health app's monitoring and data sharing functionality. Still, you probably shouldn't put it in your mouth because Conan told you so. If you do that, you may have bigger problems than having to choose where to spend your money.

source: Team Coco

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54 Comments

1. 14545

Posts: 1835; Member since: Nov 22, 2011

Seriously, stop with the politics. If you are so dense that you actually think one party is better than the other, then you need serious mental help. However, you would be in the majority since most of the people who populate this earth are idiots. So, it's time to shut up and get back to the topic of this site.

2. hwb01

Posts: 355; Member since: Apr 17, 2014

You clearly think one party is better than the other

6. 14545

Posts: 1835; Member since: Nov 22, 2011

Ok, pray tell, what party do I think is "better"? Generally speaking, I don't know many anarchists that feel "one party" is better than the other. Both are statists douches hell-bent on forcing their way of lives on me. But hey, yeah, I have a preference..... I love little partisan d!cks like you.

42. diggie32

Posts: 388; Member since: Apr 03, 2016

So you're an anarchist? Did you just discover punk music too?

46. 14545

Posts: 1835; Member since: Nov 22, 2011

No. I'm an anarchist that could tolerate extremely libertarian government. I believe in fundamental rights, not government "granted" ones. Feel free to look up what those are.

51. Gandalfdenvite

Posts: 18; Member since: Dec 15, 2016

"not government granted ones", you know that in a democracy the Government is your representatives that you... elected to represent you!? Democrats are clearly the "better" alternative when compared to gready/egoistic Republicans! The entire world have tax-paid, "free", healthcare for everyone, USA is the only country that do not give healtcare to everyone who needs it! A majority voted for Hillary, but only in USA the loser can be made the President thanks to the rigged system!

60. 14545

Posts: 1835; Member since: Nov 22, 2011

We aren't a democracy. Also, they represent the majority, not everyone. You are further proof of why the constitutional republic has failed. You don't even know what our system is. No, neither is a "better choice", you had a corrupt, egotistical woman vs. an idiot egotistical man. Do you even understand what taxes are? You do realize taxes aren't voluntary and therefore they are theft. Claim "representative" all you want, but I didn't get a say when I had extra taxes thrust upon me to pay for a product (health insurance) that I didn't want. The entire purpose of the way the constitution was written was specifically to allow for the freedom of choice. IE, excise taxes, imports and duties. The COTUS never allowed for income taxes, it wasn't until the "reconstruction that they even came to be in the US, at which they were struck down by the SCOTUS in 1895. Then, the illegitimate 16th amendment was passed. I also don't recall having much say in that either...... But hey, it represents my interests.... amirite? The system is absolutely rigged, but unfortunately, not in the way your simple mind meant it. It's rigged for statism vs. nothing. Not "Democrat" vs. "Republican". I'm sooooo sorry your side lost and now you are pigeonholed into being hypocritical about the things you were for just a year ago. I'm sorry, that part isn't "rigged". But hey, let's whine about how you "got screwed" when both sides screw everyone in telling us how to live.

62. joey_sfb

Posts: 6794; Member since: Mar 29, 2012

14545 here a thought instead of fighting everyone with the holier than thou attitude may be you could start working with people to achieve a common policy goal.

64. 14545

Posts: 1835; Member since: Nov 22, 2011

That sounds great in theory, and then you realize that 150 million people in the country have below average intelligence and think healthcare (or insert any service here) can be "free". When politicians can buy off specific groups for votes via "entitlements", the system is doomed to failure since it only requires a simple voting majority to rule.

65. joey_sfb

Posts: 6794; Member since: Mar 29, 2012

May i remind you that freedom is fought and earned not given. Many has shed blood for what you enjoy today. When the oppositions attack for freedom and liberty its time to fight back. Someone once said give me liberty or give me death. And he is right!

66. joey_sfb

Posts: 6794; Member since: Mar 29, 2012

If you have known your history you would have known who is the betrayal. He has undo the foundation of your forefathers, turned his on the workers for his own financial gain. And now you have to fight corruption to regain what's was your rights!

73. 14545

Posts: 1835; Member since: Nov 22, 2011

In order to fight it requires one to "go it alone" at the moment. I'm not willing to take on the feds alone. I'm just not. If I saw more than bickering among sides, I might have hope. However, this story, along with the 1 million others like it, that whine about some extra freedoms they lost in November are proof that I wouldn't have the backing needed to make any significant change. So.... I wait. If/when in my lifetime there is an opportunity, I won't let it go. But right now is not that time. It took the colonies a long time to finally get fed up. The problem is when 40% of the nation gets something for nothing, it's hard to convince them things are wrong........ That's not a problem that was had in the 1700's.

74. 14545

Posts: 1835; Member since: Nov 22, 2011

hwb, I guess you didn't feel like coming back to tell me exactly what party I think is better?

69. Highside

Posts: 197; Member since: Jan 31, 2017

Every American ghetto is filled with welfare recipients and they all have brand new $700+ i-Phones. THAT is the VALID point that was being made. Good citizens are sick and tired of the cancer that is destroying our once great country.

4. gotoAndDie

Posts: 82; Member since: Jun 13, 2015

Isn't the word satire

5. remixfa

Posts: 14605; Member since: Dec 19, 2008

I'm still wondering why when Obama literally said the same thing a few years ago when people were upset about the massive year over year rises in Obamacare premiums, not one joke or article was made about it. Oh right. Hypocrisy.

17. maherk

Posts: 6999; Member since: Feb 10, 2012

I despise Trump and the majority of his picks, but you have a great point in here. Ben Carson for example made a stupid comment about slaves and called them immigrants, and he was grilled for it. Yet Obama made the exact same comment months ago, and no one criticized him for that. Both parties could careless about the struggling families, or else the Democrats wouldn't have worked against Bernie knowing that Hillary would struggle against Trump.

18. darkkjedii

Posts: 31529; Member since: Feb 05, 2011

The context was different. Carson made it sound like the slaves left voluntarily, Obama didn't.

20. maherk

Posts: 6999; Member since: Feb 10, 2012

Ben Carson explained the meaning of being an immigrant then went ahead and called them that, while Obama called them immigrants without going inti details to what an immigrant is.

22. Sakeem

Posts: 864; Member since: Sep 05, 2012

This is what Obama said......"And perhaps, like some of you, these new arrivals might have had some moments of doubt, wondering if they had made a mistake in leaving everything and everyone they ever knew behind. So life in America was not always easy. It wasn’t always easy for new immigrants. Certainly it wasn’t easy for those of African heritage who had not come here voluntarily, and yet in their own way were immigrants themselves. There was discrimination and hardship and poverty. But, like you, they no doubt found inspiration in all those who had come before them. And they were able to muster faith that, here in America, they might build a better life and give their children something more."

41. darkkjedii

Posts: 31529; Member since: Feb 05, 2011

Well said bro, it was a huge difference.

23. Sakeem

Posts: 864; Member since: Sep 05, 2012

This is what Ben Carson said "There were other immigrants who came in the bottom of slave ships, who worked even longer, even harder, for less, but they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great grandsons, great granddaughters might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land, And do you know of all the nations in the world, this one, the United States of America, is the only one big enough and great enough to allow all those people to realize their dream. And this is our opportunity to enhance that dream,"

26. RebelwithoutaClue unregistered

The tone is different in both quotes. Carsons does sound they became slaves to pursue the American dream, instead of being forced to come to USA. They don't sound the same (let alone literally the same, which means word for word)

28. maherk

Posts: 6999; Member since: Feb 10, 2012

What I know, is that both called the slaves immigrants, and that's the main point the media attacked Carson for. I could go the same, Obama has been bombing the s**t out of Muslim countries, yet the media never talks about that and rather focus about how much Trump hates them. Drones have killed tens of thousands of innocent civilians, weddings and funerals were targeted, but the media turns their blind eye to this.

29. trojan_horse

Posts: 5868; Member since: May 06, 2016

I second that ^^

30. RebelwithoutaClue unregistered

Pretty funny that Obama is getting a lot of s**t for being Muslim himself or too friendly on Muslims. And while I don't condone bombing the s**t out of innocents and weddings and such, the way Trump deals with it (like banning certain Muslim countries but not the countries he does business with) is on a whole other level. And yes both called slaves immigrants, but the tone was completely different, just because of that one sentence.

49. marorun

Posts: 5029; Member since: Mar 30, 2015

Rebel there is over 40 muslim country and he banned 7 ( now 6 ) he do not have business in all the others 33 ( now 34) See sometime you need to look at the big picture to see how thing are and not what you been told by media.

67. RebelwithoutaClue unregistered

No of course he did not ban them all. Just the ones that he considered dangerous because they were countries that produced terrorists with islamic belief. But he didn't ban Saudi Arabia where he has a lot of business. Sometimes you need to see the big picture to how things are and not what you have been told by him.

54. SYSTEM_LORD

Posts: 1168; Member since: Oct 05, 2015

The time is different because they are two different men. The liberal media has a bone to pick with conservatives regardless, and it shouldn't surprise you they went after Carson and ignored Obama. Slaves are NOT immigrants - not even "in their own way" as Obama puts it. This is coming from a so-called Black Independent.

55. SYSTEM_LORD

Posts: 1168; Member since: Oct 05, 2015

Tone, not time

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