How is this possible, you ask? Easy. The noPhone keeps you safe by not having Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, or a cellular connection. In fact, it doesn't have a display or a battery either. Of course, that does mean that there is the downside that the noPhone doesn't feature a removable battery or a 4K display, which we know are important features for some of you. There is also no expandable storage, nor is there internal storage, so even if someone steals the noPhone, your data can't be compromised. That's about as secure as can be.
And, the noPhone also performs an important service for people who don't have phones, but want something of a surrogate device so your hand and pocket don't feel so empty. The noPhone allows "you to always have a rectangle of smooth, cold plastic to clutch without forgoing any potential engagement with your direct environment."
Maybe best of all: everything about the noPhone can be summed up in a 3-second demo video.