8 years ago today: Microsoft threw this dreadful parade to celebrate the "death" of the iPhone



Sometimes, it can be difficult to foretell how future events are going to unroll. Other times, we think we should have been a bit more far-seeing, considering all the clues the present serves us.

On this day, 8 years ago, Microsoft decided it would be a good idea to throw a parade to celebrate the completion of its brand spanking new mobile operating system: Windows Phone 7. Microsoft had announced the new platform 7 months earlier to a cautiously positive reception, and was now finally ready to ship it to its partners. So, what better way to mark this milestone than to throw a terrible and distasteful parade!

Organized as an internal company celebration, the main theme of the show (if there was one) was the burial of the iPhone and BlackBerry. "Bury those stagnant operating systems, and welcome the fresh and new Windows Phone 7", Microsoft must have been thinking at the time. Thanks to photos shared by witnesses, we know that the dreadful parade featured a couple of real hearses (one for iPhone and one for BlackBerry), with a bunch of Microsoft employees escorting the vehicles for a more lifelike procession.


We say the theme of the event was unclear, because apparently there have also been a few platforms with masked and/or dressed up people, a fat Darth Vader on a motorbike, and a zombie mob doing the dance from Michael Jackson's Thriller. An artistic mixture too complex for even the most literate critic to interpret.

Well, as well all know, it turned out that Microsoft got nowhere close to burying the iPhone, but it did bury Windows Phone after a few painful and unsuccessful years.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to predict the future with certainty. But, looking back at this impressively distasteful spectacle Microsoft threw for its employees back in 2010, we think we should have seen the tremendous flop coming.

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19 Comments

1. whatev

Posts: 2260; Member since: Oct 28, 2015

2. pokharkarsaga

Posts: 550; Member since: Feb 23, 2012

Wasting time & resources.Instead could have launched a competing product.

3. AfterShock

Posts: 4146; Member since: Nov 02, 2012

Loved WM in the day, hated this version of it 8 months before it started to die publicly. Went from a capable malleable os to squat, thanks Balmer you baller.

8. buccob

Posts: 2968; Member since: Jun 19, 2012

I have to say that i truly disliked Microsoft ethos in Balmer's time... With Nadella, even tough is still a long way from "great", the direction is miles ahead and respectable. That display of arrogance played a part in burying them in the smartphone game.

10. luis.aag90

Posts: 274; Member since: Aug 12, 2014

OMG, how could I miss such dreadful and lousy performance back then?

12. Povea

Posts: 52; Member since: Jul 03, 2015

You were probably still a kid back then.

11. poopypants78

Posts: 29; Member since: Jul 13, 2017

Ugh. WP7 was pure s**t. WP8 fixed all of those shortcomings and had solid support for Exchange corporate users. Unfortunately not much else. It was better than anything RIM/Blackberry could have ever dreamed, but it was too little too late for the masses. Lost opportunity indeed.

15. darkkjedii

Posts: 31034; Member since: Feb 05, 2011

Things didn’t bode too well for WP7. No iPhone killer exists, and none ever will. The iPhone is more than capable enough to stay extremely relevant, and has the best all around CPU in the game. Apple will do just enough year to year, to keep it at the top (sales wise) that is. Features, and real world useage wise, it’s only top 5.

18. Penny

Posts: 1851; Member since: Feb 04, 2011

"No iPhone killer exists, and none ever will." Good luck with that.

19. darkkjedii

Posts: 31034; Member since: Feb 05, 2011

Well name one...I’ll wait. What’s killed it?

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