Fake Steve Jobs blog creator opines on the new iPhone as "boring", says visionary CEO replaced with a number-cruncher

Fake Steve Jobs blog creator opines on the new iPhone as
You remember the famous Secret Diary of Steve Jobs aka Fake Steve Jobs aka FSJ blog? It was started by the Newsweek tech editor Dan Lyons, who took it down after it became clear that SJ is terminally ill. 

Dan's identity remained a secret for a long time, and provided us with an endless stream of hilarious posts, which were as serious about the happenings in the Silicon Valley, as they were entertaining, Onion-style.

Well, Dan Lyons came up with a big editorial today, and it is not for the faint of heart Apple fans. Basically he dissects the year during which Steve Jobs is no longer running Apple, and concludes that, while doing great financially, Cupertino needs to step up its game productwise. Here are some notable quotes from his opinion piece:



Of course, it's quite premature to judge anything before it has been even announced, and Apple's stock keeps hitting new highs, with analysts predicting record sales and bottomline contribution for the new 4G iPhone. It is also true that this is the season when Apple will face the stiffest smartphone competition it has ever encountered, so what do you think? 

Will the new iPhone boost Apple's market share significantly like with every previous iPhone launch, and will it regain the lost ground against Samsung and Android like last year, or "this time will be different"?

source: BBC

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58 Comments

1. No_Nonsense unregistered

That's the most merciless post I've seen on Apple in recent times.

6. whysoserious

Posts: 318; Member since: Jul 20, 2012

Merciless but 200% true.

8. SuperAndroidEvo

Posts: 4888; Member since: Apr 15, 2011

Remember RIM? They were TOP DOG at one point. Remember Nokia? The same with them. They got boring & thus became irrelevant. Apple is eerily walking down the same path as BOTH RIM & Nokia. The thing about history is that it tends to repeat it self. If Apple doesn't watch it self it will be the next RIM/Nokia. This person make VERY valid points. Merciless maybe, truthful definitely.

11. No_Nonsense unregistered

I never said the article was an untruthful one. I just find it rare to see some blog/news site bashing Apple these days.

14. SuperAndroidEvo

Posts: 4888; Member since: Apr 15, 2011

I know what you mean that is really surprising to me also. I never thought I would see the day. This shows that people are getting tired of this so called "iconic" look & they want Apple to go to their old ways. They can SEE innovation is clearly lacking & are starving for something new, clean & fresh. +1

19. CharlieAtInfinity

Posts: 253; Member since: Apr 10, 2012

+1 Rule of Economics :)

35. remixfa

Posts: 14605; Member since: Dec 19, 2008

lol, i've been calling that scenario for a couple of years now. its not hard to see that apple has been loosing its productive steam slowly and surely every year. They are the next RIM if something doesnt change. If the i6 isnt a big change, the i7 will be their last chance to woo the crowd or they will be irrelevant.

22. tedkord

Posts: 17307; Member since: Jun 17, 2009

But remember, Apple is taking a tack that none of those other companies did - they're exploiting the flawed patent system to stifle the innovation of competitors, and ban competing products, making it less important to innovate. If you limit consumers choices to only a few, you get more business.

24. DonkeySauce

Posts: 194; Member since: Dec 03, 2011

I think he meant to say "Somewhere 'down' there"

29. Teejay1100

Posts: 115; Member since: Aug 16, 2012

This is the one of the best and trueist post I have read from a bias person in a long time!! Apple is a different company headed in a different direction now that Jobs is gone. Competition is killing Apple softy with every new release and consumers are voting who they want and what they want with their wallets!! Apple needs to change the game but they don't have that visionary direction to do so and that will be their fall. I want to know why a company as profitable as Apple is playing catch up and not leading the way? Why do they spend so little on R&D? It seems like all they care about it is their shareholders and not consumers! Say what you want but Apple is headed in a down spiral direction, if they continue to lose more and more market share, I will call them the next Nokia or Blackberry. They have to adapt to change and that's what Tim Cook doesn't want to do, so they will get left behind!

2. SuperAndroidEvo

Posts: 4888; Member since: Apr 15, 2011

Well if the design is what is suggested by the leaks from China (where the iPhone is made) then this person might be 100% correct. A bigger iPhone 4 would be a total disappointment. That would constitute "boring". Lets hope Apple shows off something different for the sake of all loyal Apple fans, because I personally know lots of people who would be disappointed with a larger iPhone 4 after they had to endure the disappointment they felt with the iPhone 4S.

3. Bozzor

Posts: 248; Member since: May 02, 2012

Here's the truth: you cannot - and indeed should not - have a revolutionary product every year. The costs and stresses to the supply chain and the entire ecosystem of support would be too great. We only have so many developers, so many factories to add value...if all of them are constantly having to be reinvented, watch prices skyrocket, and the user experience fail. But that said, it is necessary to have some new device, or some radical reinvention of an existing technology, every few years. 3? 5? 10? Depends on costs etc. We need the right mix between evolution and revolution - I believe Apple is doing quite well so far.

21. Aeires unregistered

The S3 became the first phone to outsell the iPhone by doing exactly what you said they shouldn't do.

30. Teejay1100

Posts: 115; Member since: Aug 16, 2012

Exactly, @Bozzor you don't know what you are talking about!

32. remixfa

Posts: 14605; Member since: Dec 19, 2008

yea, ill take yearly massive leaps over a small bump every 3+ years. If your happy with the same thing over n over again.. go you. I want to be WOWed if you want my money.

4. tharag

Posts: 26; Member since: Oct 07, 2011

hilarious but correct on practical measures ..... & i think on eve of release of new i phone this is the right time to get famous .....

5. quakan

Posts: 1418; Member since: Mar 02, 2011

I get the feeling he'll eat those words after today. Edit: I do see his BMW to Toyota Camry part as somewhat true though. I guess we'll know by the end of the day whether that still holds true.

7. AppleConspiracy

Posts: 637; Member since: Oct 18, 2011

Why writing an article about the guy who clearly see thing as any ignorant Apple hater. Obviously he doesn't know anything about Apple. All of those things have their own reason, but you must be very familiar with Apple's workings. This criticism here only shows that this guy isn't.

10. good2great

Posts: 1042; Member since: Feb 22, 2012

i should've read your comment before i posted haha i could've used that energy for something else... i agree 100% with you...

18. MikeG77

Posts: 426; Member since: Nov 24, 2008

So because he writes a column that says that Apple is playing it safe in a few areas he is ignorant? I think the real ignorance is on your part because you are not willing to respect his opinion. The simple fact is that when Apple released the Iphone 4S people were disappointed by what they saw as an incremental upgrade now we have the New iPhone coming out and im wondering what it will bring to the table that makes it so innovative? If its a bigger battery, bigger screen, faster processor, NFC, LTE and a better camera then its not really innovative and SOME people will be disappointed becuse some of these things should have occured last yr. His criticism of Tim Cook is correct in that his job was to streamline the supply chain which saves Apple money ie: he's a bean counter. Thats not ignorance there just plain facts.

23. AppleConspiracy

Posts: 637; Member since: Oct 18, 2011

He is ignorant because he doesn't know anything about Apple. For instance, he ridicules Johny Ive for extending the screen just a few milimeters and accusing him for not doing anything for the whole year. I can write I book on how difficult it is for Apple to just change the screen and decide how they will do it. But he is ignorant and too confident. His knowledge is not greater than any Apple hater on comment sections who just reproduces shallow form of trends.

25. MikeG77

Posts: 426; Member since: Nov 24, 2008

You do realize that he is a TECHNOLOGY editor and his job is to be critical of products. Thats why its called an opinion.and obviously you disagree and thats your right BUT i think your letting your emotions cloud your judgement. If Apple makes the changes i mentioned or adds in features that other devices have then its not really innovative its just another SAFE incrimental upgrade. The problem with the iPhone designs ive seen is that its not wide enough. Im not asking for a huge increase but one that is of equal proportion to the length. I'm going to disagree with you on his opinion of Apple and there evolution of there product design. Like i said its just an opinion and I guarentee if there are'nt a lot of major changes he def won't the last tech journalist to find faults with the new iPhone.

26. AppleConspiracy

Posts: 637; Member since: Oct 18, 2011

Technology editor could be anyone. Even I am technology editor. It doesn't matter. He clearly doesn't understand how Apple works. He, like most of the people, presupposes that Apple should follow the same rules of "progress" and "inovation". I feel like I'm the only one who asks the question of what inovation really is and for what purpose. I'm pretty sure that public and media want inovation just for the sake of inovating, but don't know the real reasons for it. They are in fact with clouded minds, reproducing the trends. Apple was never trend follower, and that made him trendsetter. Apple knows better than most of us. They will surely encouter further problems that they will have to solve, but they will do it their way, like they always did despite all the bad voices out there, and they always succeded. Apple is silent. And that's the first smart thing they do.

27. chaoticrazor

Posts: 2347; Member since: Aug 28, 2012

you really think your superior to everyone else dont you, basically what you say must be true in your head. ''I feel like I'm the only one who asks the question of what inovation really is and for what purpose'' innovation is what apple's trying to stop other company's from doing so it can keep up. ''Apple was never trend follower, and that made him trendsetter'' Apple is a patent hoarder and marketing genius. able to sell outdated and gimmicky features and make the people buying them believe its revolutionary. apple ...silent....no there makes lots of noise and throwin tantrums about so called patent infringing and copying all because samsung's device is simply better. most of your comment just sounded like the classic brainwashed ifan puppet. you aint helping your side one bit

33. good2great

Posts: 1042; Member since: Feb 22, 2012

dude give it a rest... the man is trying to get you to think outside of your "androidbrainwashed-hateapplebecausetheysue-hateap​plebecausetheydontmakenewthingslikeandroid" close minded box... there are two things as phone users we DONT want to be 1. an i$heep 2. a Droid$heep there are no differences in the two... both are obsessed with love and hate AppleConspiracy is trying to show you a different point of view of how strategy is implemented to make your business successful...

44. MikeG77

Posts: 426; Member since: Nov 24, 2008

G2G i hope your not talking to me because i never said i love/hate Android or Apple. Yes i use an Android device but ALL companies have there pros and cons. Apple succeeds because of marketing, strict control of the supply chain and design. Who do you think was in charge of minimizing cost for production of Apples products in China.....Tim Cook. Thats facts yet again and I'm trying to put the man down because it take A LOT of experience and know how to do what he did. Thats the biggest reason why Apple's margins are so high because they control costs. Like i said Tim is a #'s guy.

46. good2great

Posts: 1042; Member since: Feb 22, 2012

no Mike... we are good bro... that reply was to chaotic... i didn't mean to direct it at you. #respect

51. chaoticrazor

Posts: 2347; Member since: Aug 28, 2012

G2G you automatically go straight to 'i must be a android guy' just becuase i dont think everything apple does is gold. i dont have an android phone so your comment is invalid.

37. AppleConspiracy

Posts: 637; Member since: Oct 18, 2011

I hated Apple before it was cool. Couple of years ago. I can't afford to hate it now, because idiots started to hate it too. Of course, by not understanding it, so I don't want to be with them.

39. remixfa

Posts: 14605; Member since: Dec 19, 2008

Apple hasnt always succeeded. In fact, until the age of the iphone, Apple was a company riddled by failure after failure that almost shut down. If it wasnt for Bill Gates' rescue of Apple, they wouldnt exist today. Apple has always tried to be a trendsetter. The problem with that is that people dont always want the trends your setting. They had massive success with iOS and are scared to change the formula. That is a problem that happens with most every company that has "flash in the pan" success. They get so big so fast they think they are invincible. They forget to look down and see their competitors clawing down their ivory tower. Thus, they never defend it and are eventually toppled over. What purpose is innovation? Innovation drives us forward. If your not moving forward you might as well be dead. "Who needs all that darn innovation" is for someone who is already dead and just doesnt know it.

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