Thanks to Samsung, Apple's Smart Battery Case is no longer the ugliest thing ever!


I abide by a personal "ugly scale", which goes from 1 to "iPhone Smart Battery Case - Charcoal Gray." You know which one I'm clamoring about – the one that makes the sleek and elegant iPhone look like it's got a parasitic twin growing on its back. But now that I've seen Samsung's new 2Piece Cover for the Galaxy S8 and S8+, I think it's time for an upgrade. It's pictured above, in all its disgusting glory.

What in the name of Satan's pet boar Cortez is going on here?! I demand an explanation! Samsung obliged: "The complementary hues of each cover add a unique geometric vibe that enhances Galaxy S8 and S8+'s design..." - goes the marketing blurb, obviously written by someone who never vibed with geometry and is color-blind.

No, forgive me about the last bit. Black is, indeed, an incredibly complimentary hue to... Black?! I asked Batman – he silently nodded and went on to drop-kick some bad guys. Strange fella, that Mr. Wayne.

Actually, the only remarkable geometry shown here is the Galaxy S8's, whose lanky back is left exposed and vulnerable to every mishap you'll ever have during your 24-month installment plan. The rest is a wicked mess! Apple's case has looks that would have stupefied the late Steve Jobs, but at least it has symmetry. Samsung's has nothing – it's two pieces (2Piece!) of cheap material awkwardly tacked onto the $750 pinnacle of mobile technology. Heck, it would look stupid on a $50 Amazon Fire tablet!

Thankfully, the rest of Samsung's new line of accessories is okay-ish. Here, look at this battery pack! It's got a fabric hanger on it, so you can swirl it around your index finger or hang it in your closet, where the skeleton of Samsung's design sense rests for eternity...

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42 Comments

1. Phonehex

Posts: 768; Member since: Feb 16, 2016

iPhone 5C holes cover was the Ugliest and the Iphone "official" battery case is the ugliest thing ever made !

3. Phonehex

Posts: 768; Member since: Feb 16, 2016

Using my comment , you've changed the title ! Bravo @Luis.D

8. luis.d

Posts: 354; Member since: Dec 04, 2013

The dude abides.

14. trojan_horse

Posts: 5868; Member since: May 06, 2016

LMAO.... right!

35. lyndon420

Posts: 6868; Member since: Jul 11, 2012

Hey Luis...I get that you're bashing Samsung and all which is fine especially when confronted with such horrid looking case designs, but your thoughts on the battery bank - are you deliberately overlooking the possibility that the straps could be there so someone could hang it on their belt?

41. luis.d

Posts: 354; Member since: Dec 04, 2013

@lyndon420 Yes. The mental imagery is too strong to bear!

42. lyndon420

Posts: 6868; Member since: Jul 11, 2012

Fair enough. Personally I like the idea...my phone takes up enough room in my front pocket as it is - no way to fit a battery bank in there as well, and having a cord trailing from one front pocket to the other would look odd in my opinion.

46. NarutoKage14

Posts: 1345; Member since: Aug 31, 2016

Do they call you Mr. Dude, Mr. Luis Dude?

47. luis.d

Posts: 354; Member since: Dec 04, 2013

Only calls I get are cold calls by marketers :/

44. yalokiy

Posts: 1087; Member since: Aug 01, 2016

The record still belongs to the iphone case though. IMO

19. piyath

Posts: 2445; Member since: Mar 23, 2012

It's record has been broken by this new Samsung case...lol This is just bonkers.

27. Tabby_Tiger

Posts: 305; Member since: Jan 23, 2017

This terrible looking case makes me feel the same way when I first laid eyes on the 5C official case. I remember seeing the 5C official case and wondered how Apple could allow such a thing to go on sale and who the hell would buy such a case.

40. sip1995

Posts: 1771; Member since: Feb 07, 2014

.lmao

2. SleeperOne

Posts: 370; Member since: Feb 25, 2017

If you're going to put any cover on the phone, either cover the whole back and not the front, get a wallet case, or an "Xtreme Rugged Shockproof Waterproof Outdoors X Feature" case with a built in screen protector...

4. Unordinary unregistered

The irony when these PA authors call something ugly, lmfao.

5. darkkjedii

Posts: 31531; Member since: Feb 05, 2011

Yeah, that's pretty bad. S8/Plus looks great, and yep...I still hate the FPS placement.

9. southernzombie

Posts: 358; Member since: Jan 17, 2017

I don't think the placement is all that bad. Granted I have huge gorilla hands and can easily use my Note 5 with one hand and wont have a problem reaching it. I can see where some people won't like it being right next to the camera and will get tired of wiping off their camera lenses. But after a couple weeks muscle memory will take over and that won't be a problem either. I'm curious to know what your particular issue you have with the placement is. Not flaming you, I'm legitimately asking.

11. darkkjedii

Posts: 31531; Member since: Feb 05, 2011

It's always been kinda awkward to me, just a preference thing, that would never stop me from buying the device

31. southernzombie

Posts: 358; Member since: Jan 17, 2017

Fair enough. It is definitely different than what I am accustomed to. I just hope its reliable because I don't see myself using iris scanner much.

28. sissy246

Posts: 7129; Member since: Mar 04, 2015

Not going to say it the best place, I agree I think after a few days it will be easy to hit. I have been practicing on my note 5, not that it will help, lol I will still get the note 8, not going to stop me from it. I just won't use it if I don't like it.

25. Xperia14

Posts: 1208; Member since: Sep 01, 2015

Man, the S8(+) looks AWESOME, especially in orchid gray!

6. southernzombie

Posts: 358; Member since: Jan 17, 2017

Lol I'm not sure at all what purpose those "cases" are trying to serve. They are absolutely terrible.

7. Plasticsh1t

Posts: 3109; Member since: Sep 01, 2014

Even a monkey can make better designs than this crap. This is abysmal.

10. zeppo

Posts: 200; Member since: Jul 21, 2015

Still look better than Apple battery case.

12. sissy246

Posts: 7129; Member since: Mar 04, 2015

Phone is beautiful,. But if those things are case's they are ugly as s**t.

13. maherk

Posts: 7007; Member since: Feb 10, 2012

Uglier than Nicki Minaj's plastic butt

15. Ray.S

Posts: 460; Member since: Jul 19, 2011

Geometry vibe!

16. Emmanuelz

Posts: 222; Member since: Aug 01, 2013

Wtf is this ? Smh

17. SPASE

Posts: 261; Member since: May 03, 2013

LOL looks like it's wearing a cop top.

34. SPASE

Posts: 261; Member since: May 03, 2013

*crop

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